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Tuesday, December 22, 2020

SHIT! my heart is hurt

 some

some make you feel like you're the worst person in the world for the mistakes you made in the past

some

some make you . . . no one makes you right?

I'm not allowed to say that right?

make me

no one can make you do and feel anything

ok

the catalyst to my current feelings

the feelings I've had all night since I read his message

some people

some people act like you're the only one

the only one in this . . . used to be friendship

we used to be . . .

friends

some 

some people make you feel 

like I said before

I say that cause I can

some people make you

ok, cause you to . . . 

that may be better

cause you to feel . . . like shit!

I'm not shit, but I feel like shit!

some people

some people don't forgive

some people forget

I don't forget . . . 

friendship

I remember friendship

what do you remember in your last . . . idk, encounter with someone that caused you to feel . . .

like shit!

some people smh

some people make me write, cause me to write

some people, meaning 1

1 in particular in this entry

but there's been many 1's that 

make/caused me to feel like shit!

I'm not shit!

I've done shitty things . . . at times

but, I'm NOT shit!

He didn't need to capitalize for emphasis

that last message got me

caught me by the throat

I suffocated for a moment . . . 

on the ???

bus, then train

staring off in space

did that just happen?

did I

reach out

AGAIN

I did

but NEVER again

the word never was capitalized twice in this message to me

I lost my breath for a moment

some people, meaning 1 

I don't understand

am I thee only one

who understands that

I'm not shit!

I feel like shit! though

tried and it didn't/never worked

what?

reconciliation.

It barely exists for me

I feel like shit!

do you feel like ?

you don't understand . . . 

shit!, some people, make, cause, message, NEVER again . . . 

SHIT!


~ deeply out ❤


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